Who’s gonna die?

So, who dies? (Sorry, blogger.com won’t let me title this. I’ll try later when the software wakes up from its midday nap.)

It was Emerson Spartz’s comment (see the 2005 interview with J.K. Rowling) that got me thinking about who will be killed off in Harry Potter No. 7, “The Deathly Hallows”: β€œThe wise old wizard with the beard always dies.” (Think Obi-Wan Kenobi.)

An aside: But remember Gandalf, in Lord of the Rings. He came back. On the other hand, Rowling has said that in her books, when you’re dead you’re dead. I don’t think Dumbledore will come back. And I really hope he doesn’t come back as a blue-green hazy ghost floating around to impart wisdom at important plot junctures, as Obi-Wan did.

My buddy Dave Enna says that if you’re ever watching a low-budget movie and you see a beat up ’72 Pontiac, you know the car will explode sooner or later. Or if you’re watching a cheesy thriller and a blonde takes a shower early on, you know she will not survive.

Rowling has said two main characters will die in Book 7. There’s been much speculation about whether Harry will be one of them. As I wrote previously, I’m not sure he will live. But given the heroic genre, I don’t think he will.

That brings me to Remus Lupin. He’s one of my favorite characters — maybe my very favorite, after Dumbledore. He’s thoughtful, principled, brave, noble, has good taste in women (Tonks) and he’s living with a deathly illness for which polite society shuns him — werewolf-hood. Many AIDS parallels. Anyway, sorry to say, but soon as I met him in Book 3 I knew he’s too good to live. The only question is whether Rowling considers him a “main character.”

Ron — I don’t think both Harry and Ron will die. That means, I’m so sorry, Ron will have to. Maybe Harry will have to choose whether to kill Voldemort and at the same time kill Ron, or save Ron and let Voldy go.

Updated paragraph (4:21 p.m. Monday): In my haste I neglected to say that of course, Snape will die. Whether he’ll die as an act of noble sacrifice in order that Voldemort will die, or die battling the forces of good, or die some other way (this is my hunch), I don’t think he’ll survive.

Who else? Maybe Hagrid? At least one other Weasley, possibly more. Bill is probably toast, I fear. And Mr. Weasley, too.